blueberries bloom when winter is gone
“but not right after,” my grandpa tells me.
"warmth has to find them again," he tells me,
through a crooked smile while he’s watering the bushes at dusk
i ask if there’s any left and the birds have ‘bout took care of that. seasons gone too warm
"what month is it?" he asks me.
it’s august
august i tell him
but what i’m learning, you see
is
phones fall off the hook, and people leave
houses get dirty, and people leave
cars get old, and people leave
and bumpers get dents
it’s just what they’re for
but it’s august
august i say
days pass by, and blueberries go bad
shoes get creased, and some bathrooms just stink
your oldest friends get fired and eleven-year-olds hate how you do their hair
years kick you in the head and lovers forget you were ever theirs
and trees get cut down
and the swing tumbles right down with it
and your old house is rottin' away like it never existed
the past has a way of haunting
meaner than a demon on a Tuesday
in the back of a bar where you’re not supposed to be
handing your pride in with a scream
watched my grandpa water every bush in the front yard
he’s out there every day
when the sun rises till the sun goes down
and if you wait up long enough at night
you’ll see, i’m right
that life will be alright
just give it time
because every summer blueberries come back
when it’s not too cold and not too hot
fruit grows back
you meet a new lover, and you find common ground with your mother
your bumper gets fixed, and you realize your shoes are just rubber
friends find new jobs, and your old house turns into another
maybe even get a maid to clean that dirty ole house
but still don’t answer that damn phone
and eleven-year-olds will never like their hair
some things never change
but most things do.
every year
if you make it back down highway 165
past the curves and past your fate
you’ll find blueberries
and me
just sitting under the pine trees
forgetting what it means to need anything but
my family.
["grape gum in hospital room #382" was written while I sat in the waiting room of Cabrini hospital with most of my family while my grandmother had surgery. She has been fighting breast cancer since Thanksgiving of last year. As I sat there, I thought about all that had gone wrong in my family's life and mine, and it made me think of my papa's blueberries. Blueberries are perennials, they'll grow back every year if in the right environment.
My baby niece Millie was on what must have been her 6th piece of grape gum since 7am, and my entire family was sitting near, watching her and laughing. Love filled that whole waiting room. Just like that blueberry bush, I saw how the fruit of our lives grows back.
Mawmaw Posey's surgery went well. We received a call from the doctor just a few days ago telling us the lymph node test was negative. Continued prayers and thoughts for my Mawmaw and my family are greatly appreciated.
"back down south" was posted near Mawmaw's diagnosis. Lots has changed, bad has happened, but good has found its way right back. Time and time again, I've watched life get better.
Hug your people tight, and remember, life isn't a linear path. It never was supposed to be.
- Lulu]
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