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Writer's picturedreaming of lulu

black-eyed susan


grass clippings out on the lawn as we laughed with the girls until dawn


her long hair shined under the sun

mind tucked deep into the void of a future


scraped knees from the curb down the street

our dreams now singing us to sleep


nothing like her melody

sticking to the humidity of summer nights

that we all act like we don't miss.


i wonder, now, if she thought of me

how all of our lives were once upon a time,

so sweet.


drained down the bathtub

hanging from the ceiling

vacant space circular shaped in the midst of her honeysuckle hair


sugar cane filled our mourning with a love untouched


young and hushed


in three-bedroom houses tucked away by the bayou.


we spent only one brief year in the mighty oaks,

yet moving on from the grief brings me to my knees,

as all I'm left with is disbelief in our memories.


summertime dances and pitched tents in our garage

stolen bikes and time capsules dug deep in the sugar cane fields


how i wish i could've saved you

oh honey, what did you do?


our old tunes on repeat as she sipped her finger's nectar


"it's just a cut." she'd say,

"you can't let them bleed you away."


honeysuckle girl, i wish you had stayed.

a fleeting year, never enough to heal your pain underway


november comes each year and i weep the month away

perhaps if life was different,

i could've saved you that day.


but now all i have is the sound of a morning dove,

reminding me of all the love in that year


highway 90 as i drive back to glimpse at your old room

posters tapered to the ceilings as my heart is outback

deep in the dirt where we placed all of our stories


we all promised one another we'd come back to find them one day.

my own sadness is in the roots of that ditch

washing away as each storm tears away what i have left of you.


as i write today, i know life will never be different.

but i promise, one day i will find you.


in the buzz of the bees

in the leaves falling from the trees


ill find you and bring you home,

home with me,

where i can learn how to make you complete.


[to my childhood friend, i don't think you will ever leave me.]




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